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Legend of the white snow wolf

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Legend of the white snow wolf (Short version)
Written by Ser...as if I was to tell you. Evo

It was the 3th of December 1972 in Manchester, and was a very snowy day. It was 1:44 PM. The clock was ticking, and suddenly…*RING* The last day of school was over. 2 Friends from year 11 high school then cross paths and greet, Owen and Alex. Owen was a 16-year-old guy who liked to spend his free time relaxing and just going to wherever the life took him while Alex, a 14 year old girl was the typical adventure girl who liked to explore every corner of the world. They had nothing to do after class so they headed to the local park. They played a while in the snow but then the wind started blowing and a light snow started to fall. Then, Alex spotted something move among the bushes a few metres from here. She talked Owen into going with her, but Alex wasn’t so sure, because that park was near the edge of a big forest, and on days like this, it’s easy to get lost. But at the end, he agreed. They walked on, and Alex was following the noises. They followed on for about an hour without thinking of time until Alex’s stomached growled. She was hungry. Owen knew it was time to head home, only this time, they didn’t know the way back. They had been following the “creature” into it without realising where they were heading. But before they could think of something, a huge bear jumped between them. Owen thought: “Bears? In Manchester?” But this wasn’t time for questions like this; they were in front of one of them and had to do something about it. Then, in less than a split second, the bear rushed to attack, heading for Owen first. Alex felt the need to help, and ran towards Owen to try and stop the bear, but the bear’s strength had greatly overpowered Alex’s, and she was knocked unconscious. Owen had no choice, he knew what he had to do, but before he knew it, the bear was feet away from him and charging. Owen managed to avoid it, but the bear thought fast, and almost exactly after this, the bear rammed him into some near bushes with brutal strength. There was no noise…But then, Alex woke up, and almost petrified with fear, seeing  there was nobody near her, now with the fearsome idea that the bear had killed Owen. She was still to damaged to move, and had nothing more than to wait for death. But from the nothing, a white wolf jumped into the battleground. It had striking blue eyes like sapphires as if to reflect the greatness of the sky, and lightning white fur waving like the wind. The battle was on, and the bear rushed to attack. The white wolf dodged it, and then did a quick slash on the bears shoulder. This did some light damage, but made it more difficult for the bear to do faster moves. The bear let out a deep growl while the wolf was showing a vicious battle face. The both again ran to attack, but this time, the wolf jumped on the bear. The bear ran and jumped to get him off, and then, he started rolling on the floor. The wolf let him go, but before he could back off, the bear let out a huge paw slash and hit hard the wolf. He woke up slowly, now showing a big scar on his right eye. Again, for the third time, both ran into the final battle, knowing this was the “no escape” part. The both rammed into each other, the wolf on the bear’s torso, and the bear on the wolf’s back legs tossing him into the air but before this, bitting and hanging onto a vital part of the bear’s torso causing his death. The wolf was injured, but no enough to fall to the floor defeated. Next day, Alex woke up on her bedroom. Her mom was right beside her. She asked: “What happened? How did I get here?” And the mom answered: “I don’t really know, but it was really strange, as yesterday we hear a howling of some creature, a wolf of some sort maybe, sounding really close, as if he was right outside the door. We came outside to see what happened, and found you uncouncious on the ground outside the door. But enough of this, a friend is waiting for you”. And then, Owen came into the bedroom, while the mother leaved them to talk for some time. Owen asked if she was ok, and she replied she was. But then, something on Owen made Alex’s mind to wonder, and so she asked: “What happened to your eye and the big scar? Did something happen to you? And how did you get away from the bear?” But Owen just replied: “I got some help from an old friend…”

THE END
Finally managed to submit my first piece of literature art into Deviantart. THis is the short version of a story I am writting for my English class final assignment. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writting it. Please dont just comment it was great without reading it, if that will be the case, then dont comment please, and dont try giving it the "quick review" as skiping parts of this story which has already been shortened will make it loose its effect. Guess that is it. Comment if optional

Written by Ser...as if I was to tell you my name huh? Evo
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Comments19
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Sesshomarus-sister's avatar
You may want to correct the first sentence, there's no such thing as 3th... it's either 3rd or 30th. What's year 11 high school? I've never heard of it. I think you mean 'wherever life', you don't need the 'the'. It should be 'they both.' I think you meant '...and hit the wolf hard.' 'The wolf was injured, but NOT enough...' '...but it was really strange, yesterday we heard the howling...' '... while the mother left...' '...something on Owen made Alex's mind start to wonder...'

There just a few mistakes I thought you might want to look at. Very interesting story though^^